I Don't Want To Grow Up

 I Don't Want To Grow Up
 10/1/12

I don't want to grow up on the inside -

Not ever.

I don't want to stop dreaming

Because I care so much what others think

And I must follow them.

I don't want to push my dreams into a corner

And strive for level ground

Because that's what some are doing.

I don't want to leave my goals

To die in the dust

Just because the world won't support them.

I don't want to grow out of dreaming -

High, bright, full of wonder -

The type of dreaming that makes my heart soar,

Wrapped in the knowledge

God is guiding me.

I don't want to stop caring

Because I've put everyone in categorized bubbles

And they don't matter anymore.

I don't want to see someone crying

And hurry away

Because I don't have time.

I don't want to look at people

And only wonder what they'll give me,

How they'll help me forward,

And if they are worth my time.

I don't want to grow out of caring-

Deeply, truly caring -

The type of caring that makes me cry

Though I don't know their name,

Or fully understand their hurt.

I don't want to stop playing

Because there are better things to do

And they must come first.

I don't want to despise twirling in the thunder storm

And stop marveling

In the beauty of the lightening that flashes across the sky.

I don't want to grow out of laughing -

Genuinely, fully, without thought of those around -

The type of laughing that others don't have to understand

But secretly wish they weren't afraid

To share in too.

I don't want to stop hoping

Because all I see is the practical side of it

And everything is black or white.

I don't want to stand so solidly in my ways

That all others are wrong

Since I am so right.

I don't want to grow out of hoping -

Trusting, watching, believing that God has good things ahead -

The type of hoping that buoys my soul

Into leaping to actions of faith

And grasping God's promises.

I don't want to stop living with wonder

Because I let it be drained away

And life is now only routine.

I don't want to release these bits of life

In favor of being mature

And unknowingly become cynical.

I don't want to grow out of looking in wonder -

Dancing, knowing, touching the gloriousness of being alive -

The type of wonderment that makes me treasure moments,

Holding fast to the knowledge,

That life is beautiful in Christ.

I don't want to grow up on the inside -

Not ever.

~ZA

 Note: I've started a new blog:
 Opinions, Thoughts And General Rambling: http://in-which-i-talk.blogspot.com/

I've also written a whole blog series based on each verse of this poem: http://in-which-i-talk.blogspot.com/2014/12/i-dont-want-to-grow-up-beyond-wonder.html

 Copyright © 2013  Ophelia M. Flowers

Within The Ache

Photo From Flickr.

 

Within The Ache 2/4/13

Silence darkly leering,

Black beneath the pain.

Hope is in tomorrow,

But I can't see past the rain.

Blackness sharply doubting,

Stabs into the ache.

You are ever reaching,

But I can't see past the fake.

Fearsome deathly slashing,

Red as killer's blade.

I try to ward the monster,

But the fire will not fade.

Twisted single sorrow,

Small as written line.

I feel my heart is breaking,

But I trust that You are mine.

Whispers hurtful calling,

Cold within the air.

I can't see past the darkness,

But I know that You are there.

Quiet steady roaring,

Blood beneath the knife.

Things feel so uncertain,

But I trust You hold my life.

 

~ZA

Copyright © 2012 Ophelia M. Flowers