I'm Not Okay

I saw this picture and it really just looked like a poem, ya know? 

So, here's my late night rambling of a poem-thing. 

(Sorry - this isn't a happy ending poem as of right now. :) It didn't flow right to continue into that, so it is what it is.)

 I'm Not Okay 

4/22/14

That unguarded moment

When my shield

Drops -

And there you are.

“Are you okay?”

You saw my frown

And the way my shoulders sagged

'Cause I thought

No one was watching...

While at the same time I was wishing

Someone would notice.

“I'm fine

Just tired.”

My practiced smile falls into place

As I list

All the reasons why

I'm fine

Just

A little tired right now.

Those entangled words

Slip past my lips.

Part truth -

Oh,

But mostly not.

I think you believe me;

If you didn't

You'd probably try to probe

Deeper.

You're good at it,

But I never give you that chance.

See,

We all have those words.

Those words

We hide behind

At the times

We are the lowest.

What are your words?

Mine are these,

Clear as day,

But you don't see them

For what they really are.

But that's my fault.

I've gotten really good at pretending.

Heh,

So good that half the time

You wouldn't even know

I'm repeating in my head,

“It's okay.

I'm okay.

It's okay.

I'm okay.”

Over and over

To stop my other thoughts

From sinking me

Deeper than I want to go.

I don't often let my guard slip

Low enough for you to see...

But

Despite all this...

I want you

To chase behind the words,

"I'm fine."

To see

If the words are real

Or

If they're an empty shield.

Please...

But right now

All I do is smile and laugh

While we dance around

The truth...

I'm not okay.

I'm ready

To give up

If I have to...

But please

If I really have to

Will you

Please stay with me?

~ZA

I'm Not Alright - Sanctus Real

Driven To The Ocean

Original Picture Link - Pinterest

              While I was puttering around on Twitter, I ended up with a tune and the second verse of this poem stuck in my head. I didn't think it was meant to be a full blown poem, so I unwisely went off to work with that verse and tune stuck in my head. An eight hour shift later and this poem bit is very sure it wants to be a full blown poem, no matter how abstract and strange it may be.

;) So I stayed up past 1AM and wrote, Driven To The Ocean. 

(I think it's about some captured fantasy race that is meant to be in/very near the ocean...)

Driven To The Ocean 

4/10/14

We were

Nine upon the shoreline

And we were

Calling to the sea.

We were

Tugging at the moor lines

As we were

Longing to be free.

We were

Motion's last emotion

And we were

Standing on the edge.

We were

Pining for the ocean

When we were

Dancing on the ledge.

We were

Lights lit so delightful

And we were

Singing to the stars.

We were

Powerful and frightful

But we were

Covering the scars.

We were

Great that was unrated

And we were

Plunging in the waves.

We were

More than understated

And we were

Meant as no mans' slaves.

We were

Best yet still untested

And we were

Ready then to rise.

We were

More than what requested

But we were

Aiming for the skies.

We were

Want that proved unwanted

And we were

Called to plunge below.

We were

Never cowed or daunted

No, we were

Ripples forming slow.

We were

Found and yet unfounded

And we were

Laughing to the deep.

We were

Motion yet ungrounded

But we were

Certain what to keep.

We were

Wet, lit by the sunset

And were were

Finally at the source.

We were

Said to be a no-threat

But we were

Held by Ocean's force.

(Here's the tune for it, iffen you're curious. :P )

Oh, and I uhh, made pictures for each of the verses for the fun of it.

~ZA

Copyright © 2014 Ophelia M. Flowers