I am blessed. :)

   This doesn't have anything to do with writing, but I think it's obvious by now that sometimes I just post things randomly that aren't poetry or excerpts. *Shrugs*  It's my blog. ;)

   Anyway, this is something I wanted to say and I decided to say it here.

   When I was younger I knew the world had hurts but they never really effected me. I was in my safe bubble of Christian family, homeschooling and church. I interacted with people, but I didn't really see.

    As I got older I more and more understood the hurts. My bubble got smaller and smaller. But even when I saw the hurts, they didn't really impact me. I prayed and meant it- but I don't think I understood. It didn't as often break my heart into pieces.

    Now my heart breaks. Why? I got to know people. I started listening to the pains and hurts of others- the confusion they were dealing with and the uncertainties of their families. Prayer became a lot more to me – a way to pour out my heart for people when I felt at a total loss for words. And as I more and more see the hurts of the world, I finally understand something, if only just a little:

    I have it really good. I have Christian parents who have raised me to love and fear God, to be a hard worker, and to have respect for others. I have a dad who is a pastor and a mom who home schooled me all my years of school. I'm the (admittedly bossy) older sister to three younger siblings who (though we have our squabbles) I'm blessed to have. Most importantly, I'm loved by God and I know for certain that I am His. He has blessed me in so many ways and I don't deserve any of it.

    I've been shaken a lot this year, cried for a lot of people, questioned God about His reasons for things, and done a lot of pondering. No matter what happens in my life or the lives of the ones I love, I can say with confidence that God is good. I don't always understand what He is doing and many times I cry out to Him in questioning but He always comes through. He's not constrained to my time limits and He doesn't need my permission to work in my life. He's God. He's in charge. And oh, He is so good.

 

~ZA