Wednesday, April 23, 2014

I'm Not Okay




I saw this picture and it really just looked like a poem, ya know? 
So, here's my late night rambling of a poem-thing. 
(Sorry - this isn't a happy ending poem as of right now. :) It didn't flow right to continue into that, so it is what it is.)


 I'm Not Okay 
4/22/14

That unguarded moment
When my shield
Drops -
And there you are.
Are you okay?”
You saw my frown
And the way my shoulders sagged
'Cause I thought
No one was watching...
While at the same time I was wishing
Someone would notice.
I'm fine
Just tired.”
My practiced smile falls into place
As I list
All the reasons why
I'm fine
Just
A little tired right now.
Those entangled words
Slip past my lips.
Part truth -
Oh,
But mostly not.
I think you believe me;
If you didn't
You'd probably try to probe
Deeper.
You're good at it,
But I never give you that chance.
See,
We all have those words.
Those words
We hide behind
At the times
We are the lowest.
What are your words?
Mine are these,
Clear as day,
But you don't see them
For what they really are.
But that's my fault.
I've gotten really good at pretending.
Heh,
So good that half the time
You wouldn't even know
I'm repeating in my head,
It's okay.
I'm okay.
It's okay.
I'm okay.”
Over and over
To stop my other thoughts
From sinking me
Deeper than I want to go.
I don't often let my guard slip
Low enough for you to see...
But
Despite all this...
I want you
To chase behind the words,
"I'm fine."
To see
If the words are real
Or
If they're an empty shield.
Please...
But right now
All I do is smile and laugh
While we dance around
The truth...
I'm not okay.
I'm ready
To give up
If I have to...
But please
If I really have to
Will you
Please stay with me?

~ZA



Thursday, April 10, 2014

Driven To The Ocean





              While I was puttering around on Twitter, I ended up with a tune and the second verse of this poem stuck in my head. I didn't think it was meant to be a full blown poem, so I unwisely went off to work with that verse and tune stuck in my head. An eight hour shift later and this poem bit is very sure it wants to be a full blown poem, no matter how abstract and strange it may be.

;) So I stayed up past 1AM and wrote, Driven To The Ocean
(I think it's about some captured fantasy race that is meant to be in/very near the ocean...)


Driven To The Ocean 
4/10/14

We were
Nine upon the shoreline
And we were
Calling to the sea.
We were
Tugging at the moor lines
As we were
Longing to be free.

We were
Motion's last emotion
And we were
Standing on the edge.
We were
Pining for the ocean
When we were
Dancing on the ledge.

We were
Lights lit so delightful
And we were
Singing to the stars.
We were
Powerful and frightful
But we were
Covering the scars.

We were
Great that was unrated
And we were
Plunging in the waves.
We were
More than understated
And we were
Meant as no mans' slaves.

We were
Best yet still untested
And we were
Ready then to rise.
We were
More than what requested
But we were
Aiming for the skies.

We were
Want that proved unwanted
And we were
Called to plunge below.
We were
Never cowed or daunted
No, we were
Ripples forming slow.

We were
Found and yet unfounded
And we were
Laughing to the deep.
We were
Motion yet ungrounded
But we were
Certain what to keep.

We were
Wet, lit by the sunset
And were were
Finally at the source.
We were
Said to be a no-threat
But we were
Held by Ocean's force.



(Here's the tune for it, iffen you're curious. :P )



Oh, and I uhh, made pictures for each of the verses for the fun of it.









~ZA




Copyright © 2014 Ophelia M. Flowers